Quarter-Life Crisis

... well, that is, if I live to be 100 years old. (I highly doubt that notion)

You know that really crappy feeling that you get when you're living the 'safe and settled' job life but something inside you keeps telling you that its not really for you? Like, this is nowhere close to where your true calling lies? I don't even fucking know where my true calling lies. Or if there's even a thing like that. Who the hell even came up with this concept?

Why do we always wish for more? I mean, I'm in a perfect place where I have my friends and family around - but I want to disrupt this normalcy and go explore the unknown.

Will leaving everything and everyone behind make me happy? Will building a new life in a foreign country be easy? Will I be happier if I study in my dream college? May be. May be not. I don't know. But it will probably add more value to my life. I will learn more. Explore more. Make more mistakes. May be it will  make me walk down the path to self-actualization. May be it won't. Who am I to say?

As human beings, we always want to strive for the best. Learn all that's there to learn. Do all that's there to be done. But do we forget to live a little amongst all this chaos?

We keep functioning like machines to achieve the goals set by the society - scrutinize our successes and failures based on what is expected of us. Why is it that the shiny job title against my name is more important than how I feel on the inside?

At this point, I don't even know or care where I was headed when I started writing down this post. I just wanted to get it out of my system. There are just too many things in my head and I'm trying to somehow streamline my thoughts to be able to write down one cohesive piece that would describe everything that I'm feeling right now in words, but I guess I'm failing miserably at it.

Until next time, (if and when that happens)
Ananya