Every time my mom happens to pass in front of my room and peaks in and asks "What are you doing?" and I go like "Nothing. Just browsing around drawings and stuff." and show her what I'm looking at.
And then she goes like you should something too, 'sirf dekhne se kya hoga?'. And I get really really pissed off. All the time. Every time. And I keep quiet.
Like, is it fucking necessary for me to keep doing something all the time? Can't I just keep looking at stuff? Do nothing? Absorb the knowledge and let things be? Yes, term it as laziness or anything you please. But just let me be, okay?
Isn't it already a burden enough to stay normal? To not lose whatever patience I have left in me? It's been friggin' more than nine months! And I still have 3 more to go.
Fine. I accept that it was my fault. Biggest mistake of my life. But give me a break? I fixed it. Just a bit late. But I did, okay?
Actually, it's this stupid city's fault. I never for fuck's sake wanted to ever take up science. But I had to. Fuck you Hyderabad for such limited choices. Fuck India even more for it's stereotypical mindset of not thinking beyond 'Engineering/Medicine/Business' as a career.
When the only thing I wanted to do after getting out of 10th std was to get into college and study design, I had to go through the mental torture of dealing with physics, chemistry and math. Many people ask me as to why I didn't take something 'easier', like Commerce or Arts? Well, first of all, arts wasn't available. And commerce wasn't even a choice. I mean, I had no previous knowledge/introduction to subject. What was the point in studying something entirely new that I wasn't even getting in to, for two years?
To be honest, I'm done playing the blame game. It's pointless. In the end it's just my life that got screwed. Just that. Nothing else.
And I'm done ranting for today.
13 comments:
Wow. I so totally get how you're feeling that it's not even funny.
Same happened with me.
I was so annoyed when people kept telling me to take science cuz that was the way to go. I mean seriously?
Anyway, I ended up taking commerce which turned out to be pretty great because it was a completely new subject and after 12th, I got into multimedia design. Something I always wanted to do.
:)
Multimedia design, eh? Which college?
It is never too late to fix things. And you will always find some or the other people who WILL say stupid stuff. Happens to others too, all the freaking time. And its allright. I try to imagine them with elongated ears or something when they are talking crap and have a mental laugh :P sounds silly I know, but at the end of the day they walk away after giving stupid advice and I am left feeling angry and lost. So I choose to not listen at all. Things always work out the way you want them too. So hang in there! :)
Why dont you move to Mumbai? I think we have practically everything under the sun... Try to find things beyond just the place you are staying at, if you want it that bad. To not settle for mediocre things and get something awesome, you have to be really crazy sometimes.. :)
Cheers,
Annie.
Same pinch.
Even I took up science after 10th and had to deal with physics and chemistry. :/
I like Biology and that's what I am studying write now.
But my parents are still upset bcoz I gave didnt try for engineering...!
I wanted to design too, but I never gave much thought to it.
I agree with Ice Maiden, come here.
Bombay.
:)
Ah. Parents and their Science fixation. And I thought it was only particular to Doctor parents, like mine.
Do what YOU think you'd be good at. Don't 'opt' for your career, choose it.
:) love
Annie, hahah. That's some pretty suggestion. :D I ignore people most of the times. But what to do about the people at home who keep nagging for errm 24/7?! :/
I wish I could've moved out of this city three years back. When I landed here and realised that there was no college that offered arts.
But well, I was underage. And without any money.
So running away from home wasn't an option.
But right now, I can be anywhere where there's a good design college. :)
The Blue Periwinkle, Sad. But at least you're studying what you like now.
My parents never put any restrictions on me though. :)
And trust me, if I had it my way, that is the place I would be in right now.
Orange plum, My parents never told me to take up science. It was always my wish.
I was afraid to try new stuff. Science has been a compulsory subject all through the years. I took it 'cause of the familiarity.
:)
People who 'opt' for a career never really do think what they actually want to do in life.
I've stuck on to design all my life. Like err. From 5th std. :D
Wow, finally someone in need of career advice :)
Though I do agree with the limitations of choice in India - but I don't think its related to India as such. Its more like 'problems in a developing country'. We are still a struggling nation, and earn mostly through software and medical exports. Only when we develop as a nation, and become more rich, we will have more career options - like in the US and Europe. People there can take almost anything as a career. However, I don't see it happening in India for another 10 years at least.
Till then, its just red pill or blue pill - take it or leave it.
stereotypical mindset of not thinking beyond 'Engineering/Medicine/Business' as a career.
Exactly my sentiments..!!!! If there's sumthing i would want to reverse back would be my career... just to satisfy these "career-oriented" people around me..!!
We designers dont hav much option... but to wait... and watch..!! while others keep climbing the success ladder. But anyways... as they say "slow n steady wins the race" ;)
Calvin, I don't completely agree with you.
We do have career choices beyond engg and medicine. And many people are taking them up. Especially after the recession thing happened.
It's just that they don't get a very high paying job.
But these days, even the engineers don't. :D
Dido, haha. I swear. This ought to end! :P
Well I have seen the design field expand and grow in the last two years.
People now realize the value and importance of design and that means more opportunities for the designers.
So yeah, things are improving.
@Ananya
I study in Raffles. http://www.educompraffles.com/
It's an awesome design college but the delhi branch really sucks. I have to transfer outta here.
Yeah. I've seen it too.
But there are still people who think that design is just 'fashion design'.
And that designers are a li'l gone in head. And people expect them to weird and all. :/
Oh. Heard about it. But I think Raffles is good out of India only.
Ah, then things have changed. When I passed out of school (a decade back), there was almost nothing else to do...:)
So guess we are progressing slowly...
A decade is a long time. And I'm happy that the things are changing. :)
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